Your Second Pregnancy by Katie Tamony
Your Second Pregnancy was Published by Chicago Review Press
Why a book for second-time pregnant moms? We all know why first-time pregnant women buy
books-because they're going through a new experience, and it's exciting and frightening
and strange all at once, and they are looking for guidance and reassurance from those who
have been there. But doesn't the woman who has been through one pregnancy already know
what to expect? Surprisingly, no. Second pregnancies are usually different from first
pregnancies-and the woman suddenly finds herself experiencing signs and feelings that she
never felt the first time around. Where does she now turn for advice?
She can look things up in the pregnancy books that she bought during her first pregnancy (that is, if she hasn't given them away to a pregnant friend, as so many women do) but she'll find that those books were all written for the woman totally unfamiliar with the pregnancy experience. She already knows the basics, and the books have nothing to say about the unique questions she may have. Questions such as:
Why am I not having morning sickness, when I was sick at least twice a day during the first few months of my last pregnancy?
When during my pregnancy is the best time to tell my child that we're having a baby?
Why am I showing sooner and wearing maternity clothes before the fourth month?
Should I have my older child attend a sibling preparation class-and should the child be present at the birth, remain in the waiting room, or stay home?
Should I use the same OB as last time, or (since my first delivery was uncomplicated) this time use a nurse-midwife or consider having a home birth?
Will my body undergo any permanent changes from this pregnancy, different from the changes that occurred with my first pregnancy?
How can I take care of my family and still have time to recover during the post-partum period?
If I had a cesarean the first time, will I have to have one again?
If I had a vaginal birth the first time, does that mean I don't have to worry about having a cesarean this time?
Is my risk of miscarriage higher or lower now that I've already had a baby?
How can I fit a prenatal exercise routine into my day now that I'm a working mother?
Should I take a "refresher course" in Lamaze training?
If I didn't breastfeed my first baby, should I try it this time around? Or: If I breastfed my first baby, would it be wrong for me not to do so with this one?
Are there any complications that are more likely to occur in subsequent pregnancies?
What if my first child comes down with chickenpox or the flu while I'm pregnant?
Will I get more stretch marks? Gain more weight? Lose weight more slowly than after the first birth?
There are hundreds more such questions. This book will answer them for all second time mothers, and for third, fourth, and fifth time mothers, too. Doctors reassuringly tell their patients, every pregnancy is different -- but this book will tell you how and why!
Your Second Pregnancy will be particularly helpful to those women who are having their second baby many years after their first one, a rapidly growing segment of society. When the last time you were pregnant was eight or ten or even two years ago, you forget a lot. Things change: New tests are introduced, new health hazards are discovered, and controversies you never heard of before must be addressed.
For example, in 1992 sonograms were given routinely. In 1993 a study indicated that sonograms-for many women-were wasteful. Should you insist on one? Your Second Pregnancy answers this and other controversies. Between your first and second pregnancies your OB may not be the same this time around: He or she may have moved, changed practices, or dropped out of the field altogether (because of the crisis of malpractice litigation in obstetrics today). You have changed as well. You are no longer an anxious young woman waiting to hear the instructions of an older, wiser doctor. You have more of a sense of yourself, and you want to play a greater role in decisions about your prenatal care and childbirth procedures. This time around you wish to hear the pros and cons of episiotomy, epidural anesthesia, and fetal monitoring before you make the decisions-not like last time, when you probably just went along with your OB's recommendation.
Since second time mothers are also more likely to be in their thirties, they also need a book that gives more attention to the more likely complications that can develop in the older pregnant woman: gestational diabetes, preeclampsia, hypertension, toxemia, multiple gestation, and others.
Because the book is concerned with the needs of the pregnant woman who already has a child, it will also contain a section written for mothers of adopted children who now find themselves pregnant for the first time. (The New York Times, December 26, 1991, Home section, p. 1, reported on the increasing incidence of such families).
Your Second Pregnancy will arrive at a time when it's most needed. The original baby boom generation born between 1946 and 1964 is aging, leaving behind the time of first childbearing. The birth rate has remained high and has been predicted to remain high for the next several years as these women choose to have a second, and occasionally a third or fourth child. It's becoming rare these days for families to choose to have more than three. So instead of being a frequent, commonplace occurrence in a woman's life, pregnancy has become a rare and special thing. When a woman's second pregnancy may well be her last pregnancy, she would like to pay as much attention to what is happening to her body this time as she did the very first time.
There is no other source for her to turn to. No other book on the market today occupies this niche. When women become pregnant with their second child, she can look and look for a book to guide them, but they will find nothing. Yes, a few other books cover a few of the questions that second-time mothers have-but there is no book written specifically for this very large (and growing) segment of the public. About half of all women who become pregnant each year are having a second or later baby.
If you were pregnant with your second child, which would you buy, a new book about pregnancy or a book aimed at women having their second pregnancy?
What to Expect When You're Expecting (Workman) is a perennial best-seller (2.7 million since 1984.) Clearly many women pregnant with second children are buying the new version of this book (aimed primarily at the first-time pregnant woman who has little idea what to expect) because there is nothing written just for them. Your Second Pregnancy will give book-buyers an attractive alternative when it comes time buy a new pregnancy book.
This will be a much sought-after book, judging from the letters received by Parenting magazine after its August 1993 cover story: "Pregnancy: The Second Time Around" by Katie Tamony. Here are some excerpts from the many letters the magazine received:
I am excited to say I have definitely found the thrill and magic in my second pregnancy that was in your story, "The Second Time Around."
I was really happy to see someone take the time to write on the feelings on pregnancy the second time around. Thanks!
Trout Run, PA
Your article on second pregnancy was a welcome sight! Back pain and showing earlier are my biggest problems so far. Your tips for rest and gifts were great.
I have just finished reading your article, "Pregnancy: The Second Time Around" and I want to say THANK YOU! THANK YOU! THANK YOU! I didn't think anyone out there knew how I felt about this pregnancy. Your article made everything clear. I kept telling my husband that it just not the same this time around....Thank you very much for letting us "second timers" know someone really is thinking of us!
Lake Elsinore, CA
If only someone had told me how totally different my two would have been, I think I would have waited a little bit longer! Thanks so much for a very informative piece, one I am sure that I will keep to pass on to friends who are working on baby number two.
Given current demographic trends, Your Second Pregnancy can be expected to be a strong seller for many years to come. It's enlightening to note that in 1959, 41 percent of Americans said that 4 was the ideal number of children to have, and 2 percent thought that 2 was the ideal number. (Roper surveys, 1959 and 1991). In 1991,10 percent said 4 and 52 percent said that 2 was the ideal number of children to have. With fewer pregnancies, each pregnancy is more precious.
Additionally, the pregnancy rate for older women is increasing. Between 1980 and 1990 for women aged 35 to 39-a prime book buying group-the pregnancy rate increased 60 percent. For women 40 to 44, the pregnancy rate grew 41 percent.
Most telling from the perspective of potential sales for Your Second Pregnancy is that 75 percent of births to women over 30 were second (or third) children.*
According to the Census Bureau, there will be between 3.9 and 4.0 million births a year in the U.S. through the year 2,000. Based on 2.1 children per family, that's a mean of 2,050,000 second (third and fourth, but primarily second) children per year. One demographic expert, Irma Zandl of the Zandl Group, a company that tracks family trends, says that we can expect larger families. "The idea of staying home with a baby is not considered a waste of time." That is, parents-mothers in particular-are taking a greater interest in children and pregnancies.
It's fact, not fiction, that women want as much information about their second pregnancy as possible. American Demographics writes "The middle-class parent's seemingly infinite desire for education has created more diversity and breadth in childbirth classes. Books on pregnancy, childbirth and baby names did very well in the 1980s and are still hot in the 1990s."
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Katie Tamony is the author of "Pregnancy: The Second Time Around," the cover
story of August's Parenting magazine (circulation 900,000.)
Katie is the former managing editor of Northern California Home & Garden Magazine. A freelance journalist for the past two years, Katie has written articles for Parenting, Practical Homeowner, Sunset, Peninsula, and several other magazines. Her first article in Parenting appeared in 1991 and was called "First Days Back to Work." Katie graduated from UC Berkeley.
She is the mother of two young daughters, Sara 3, and Catlin 1½. Katie and her family live in Redwood City, California.
YOUR SECOND PREGNANCY
ANNOTATED TABLE OF CONTENTS
Why Your Second Pregnancy won't be the same as your first. Why the concerns of second-time mothers are different from first-time mothers. The types of issues and choices you'll be facing during your pregnancy. How your pregnancy is likely to affect your family. How this book can help.
Chapter One - Congratulations! You're Pregnant ... Again!
Finding out you're pregnant. The early signs and symptoms (they'll be different this time around). Decisions about prenatal and obstetrical care. Pros and cons of sticking with your old OB, finding a new one, or choosing a nurse-midwife. Body changes during the first trimester (first twelve weeks). How to cope with first trimester fatigue and nausea (when you also have to cope with your family's needs and your job as well).
Chapter Two - Making Adjustments
Body changes during the second trimester. Second pregnancies mean earlier feeling of fetal movement and backache. Helping your child to understand what is happening to Mommy. Prenatal nutrition for the busy mom. Diet concerns: More second timers drink coffee and tea and soda, eat more fats and generally watch their diet less carefully. Exercises for the woman who has no time for prenatal exercise class. Travel and vacations with your other child while pregnant. How to get enough sleep, the pregnant mom's ultimate reward.
Chapter Three - As the Due Date Looms Closer
Body changes during the third trimester. Common body image problems of later pregnancies: droopy breasts, stretch marks, spider veins, swollen ankles and feet, skin discoloration, etc. Birthing classes (Lamaze, Leboyer, etc.)-do you need a refresher course? Should you enroll your child in a sibling preparation class? Choosing a name-should you let your older child have a say?
Chapter Four - Problem pregnancies
About gestational diabetes, preeclampsia, toxemia, preterm contractions and other complications. Multiple gestation (twins, triplets, and more). Pregnancy and the over-30 mother. Tests and fetal diagnoses: Alpha-feto-protein, chorionic villae sampling, amniocentesis (illustration at left), and others.
Chapter Five - Playing It Safe
How your child's favorite sandbox holds a threat to your fetus. Necessary precautions around outdoor cats, insects, pet turtles and other animals. Dangers in raw meat, chicken, eggs, fish, and other problems for the family meal-maker. Your pregnancy and your older child's illnesses (colds, flus, chickenpox and other common diseases). How to avoid heavy lifting when your 40-pound first child demands to be carried.
Chapter Six - The Big Event
Labor and delivery -- will it be easier this time around? Shorter? Less painful? Options for childbirth: episiotomy or not; anesthesia (and if so, what type); "rooming-in" (keeping your baby with you in your hospital room;) what to do with your older child when you go into labor. Pros and cons of allowing your child to witness the birth.
Chapter Seven - Second Baby, Second Cesarean?
For those who had a cesarean last time around: Must you have one again? For those who had a vaginal delivery last time: What are the odds of cesarean delivery this time?
Chapter Eight - Getting Ready for a Major Change in Your Life
How another baby is likely to affect your family life -- and how you can prepare for the changes that the new baby will bring. About spacing between siblings. The new baby and your husband. Common anxieties in second pregnancies: that you can never love the new baby as much as you love your firstborn; that there will be "something wrong" with the next one; that you can't be lucky twice in a row; that your older child will always resent the baby (and you, for having it).
Chapter Nine - Making Room for Four (or Five or Six)
Strictly practical matters. Rearranging the furniture to make space for baby. When the house hasn't grown to match the family's size, do you put the baby in with the older child, put it in the parents' room, or in the living room? (pros and cons discussed). Making your toddler switch rooms (or give up the crib) without tears. Who's going to clean house and look after the older child while Mommy recovers from childbirth and is taking care of the newborn? The role of the extended family (grandparents, aunts, uncles, etc).
Chapter Ten - The Feeding Decision
The problem of nursing a newborn when there's a recently weaned toddler in the house and other breastfeeding dilemmas of the second-time mother. Nursing your second child (when you bottlefed the first), or bottlefeeding the second child (when you breastfed the first). About working, mothering an older child, and taking care of a newborn.
Chapter Eleven - Sex and Gender
Sonograms and genetic testing now make it commonplace for parents to find out in advance whether they'll be getting a boy or a girl. If you find out, should you tell your older child? Issues and concerns when the new baby is the same sex. Issues and concerns when the new baby is the opposite sex. When you'd been hoping for a boy and find out that you're getting a girl (or vice versa). Sexual intimacy in the lives of the expectant parents (if they can ever find the time!)
Chapter Twelve - Special Circumstances
When you're pregnant for the first time, but you have an older child (by adoption). When your second child is by your new husband (a half-sibling to your older child). When your husband has older children and you are having your first baby.
Chapter Thirteen - Emotional Changes
There are a host of emotional differences between the first and second pregnancies. This final chapter seeks to answer some of them: Why am I more bored with this pregnancy? Why don't I feel as attached to this baby as I did with the first? Why is my husband aloof? My first child doesn't seem to comprehend the changes that are going to take place in his (or her) life and this makes me feel confused. I'm getting too little (or too much) attention from family and friends this time around.
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