If Book Publishers Use License Agreements

If Book Publishers Used License Agreements
(Some humor)

by Bill Adler, Jr.

What if book publishers borrowed the “license agreement” idea from software companies? Why not? After all, books and software very similar, and should be covered by the same kind of agreements. Books and software both are copyrighted: they are often the product of intensive research, writing, and editing. Both book and software publishers have to worry about people copying or giving away their products. Books and software often have a short shelf life, and have to be updated now and then to stay current

If book publishers wrote license agreements, here is what such an agreement might look like.

Book License

BY OPENING THIS BOOK YOU AGREE TO THE TERMS OF THIS LICENSE AGREEMENT. THIS AGREEMENT CANNOT BE CHANGED OR AMENDED BY ANY ORAL, WRITTEN OR OTHER REPRESENTATION MADE BY A BOOKSELLER, BOOK STORE CLERK, ONLINE MERCHANT, OR ANYONE ELSE.

You, “The Reader,” are hereby granted a limited license to read this book, according to the following terms. If you do not agree to the terms of this license, you are to return this book to the store from which you purchased it. No refund will be issued.

You do not own the words contained in this book. The publisher hereby grants you permission to use the words contained in this book on an individual and discrete basis, but you may not use more than eight (8) words in the same order or same pattern as contained anywhere in the book in your speech, writing, conversation or elsewhere. Such use will constitute a violation of the publisher’s COPYRIGHT and other rights.

This book is sold “as is.” No warranty or representation is made regarding the utility, readability, functionality, educational or entertainment value, or practicality of this book. The publisher does not warrant, represent, promise or guarantee that this book will enhance your life, enlighten you, or divert or amuse you. YOU MAY NOT LIKE THIS BOOK AT ALL AND BY OPENING THIS BOOK YOU AGREE THAT ALL RISK REGARDING THE LIKABILITY OF THIS BOOK SHALL BE ASSUMED BY THE READER.

THE READER ASSUMES ALL LIABILITY FOR ANY ACTIONS, DECISIONS, BEHAVIOR, PRACTICES, CHOICES OR ACTION OR DEEDS TAKEN BY THE READER AS A RESULT OF READING THIS BOOK. Anything you do as a consequence of reading, holding, browsing, skimming or thinking about this book is at your own risk, and THE PUBLISHER SHALL IN NO WAY BE LIABLE UNDER THE TERMS OF THIS AGREEMENT UNLESS OTHERWISE SPECIFIED BY STATE LAW FOR ANY DIRECT OR INDIRECT CONSEQUENCES RESULTING FROM THE USE OF THIS BOOK.

The publisher is not responsible errors, mistakes, inaccuracies, omissions, that may or may not be in this book, and BY OPENING THIS BOOK YOU ALSO AGREE THAT PURCHASING A LICENSE TO READ A BOOK IS INHERENTLY RISKY.

THE PUBLISHER IS NOT LIABLE FOR ANY INDIRECT CONSEQUENCES OF READING THIS BOOK, SUCH AS, BUT NOT LIMITED TO, PAPER CUTS, BOOKWORK INFESTATIONS, AND FIRES.

YOU MAY NOT LOAN, LEND, SELL, GIVE, OR HAND OVER THIS BOOK TO ANYBODY ELSE, except that members of your immediate family which include only father, mother, brother, sister, son and daughter, may read this book. ANY MEMBER OF YOUR IMMEDIATE FAMILY WHO READS THIS BOOK SHALL BE GOVERNED AND BOUND BY THE TERMS OF THIS LICENSE AGREEMENT EVEN IF THEY DO NOT READ THIS LICENSE AGREEMENT.

You may not reverse engineer (diagram) any sentences contained in this book. You may not decompile (analyze) this book in part or in whole. You may not parody, mock, or criticize this book in any public or private forum, unless you are a full-time, licensed journalist. You may not “compare and contrast” this book with any other books, now written, or which will be written in the future. IF YOU VIOLATE ANY OF THESE TERMS THE PUBLISHER MAY REPOSSESS THIS BOOK, OR REQUIRE THAT YOU DO NOT FINISH READING THE BOOK, OR DO NOT REREAD THIS BOOK.

From time to time, the publisher may issue a new edition or version of this book. If the publisher publishes a new edition or version of the book, all previous editions and versions shall automatically become previous editions. The publisher is not required to notify you of new editions or versions of the book, however, THIS LICENSE AGREEMENT SHALL REMAIN IN FORCE FOR ALL PREVIOUS AND PAST EDITIONS AND VERSIONS OF THE BOOK.

All conclusions reached and insights gained by reading this book are the PROPERTY of the publisher.

THIS AGREEMENT SHALL BE GOVERNED BY THE LAWS OF THE STATE OF NEW YORK AND ALL LAWSUITS BROUGHT UNDER THIS AGREEMENT MUST BE FILED AND ADJUDICATED IN THE STATE OF NEW YORK, UNLESS THE PUBLISHER IN ITS SOLE AND EXCLUSIVE DETERMINATION DETERMINES THAT THE READER AND PUBLISHER BE SUBJECT TO MANDATORY ARBITRATION. IN THE CASE OF MANDATORY ARBITRATION, THE ARBITRATOR SHALL BE SELECTED FROM THE PUBLISHER’S LIST OF PRE-SELECTED ARBITRATORS.

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